A Mother's Morning Walk

I made a few little changes to my Average Daily Chart at the beginning of the year.  I didn't make any drastic changes, just a few little adjustments to the flow of our day to try and make things even better.  But with kids being sick and a few days out of town, we've had a rough start to the year, and I'm still in the testing and adjusting stage with most of the changes.

Heading to the trail

One change, however, has been wonderful.  I've started taking a 15-20 minute walk by myself each morning before Morning Time begins.

The trail

I can vividly remember a time when I heard a mom with older kids remark that she was taking a walk by herself each day after lunch, leaving her kids home to clean up after the meal.  At the time I couldn't imagine being able to do that...  and now, here I am, almost ten years later, leaving the breakfast clean-up in Emma (13) and Nathan's (7) capable hands.  Emma is also tasked with dressing her two year old sister, and Justin, my 4 year old, is supposed to get dressed, play quietly, and not be a nuisance while I'm gone.  Gregory (10) does some independent work like practicing the piano and typing, and reviewing geography.

The trail junction.  This tree dropped in a early snow storm a few years ago and we left it there to discourage people exploring with ATVs.

There's a not insignificant part of me that feels guilty for not taking the kids with me, and feels guilty for enjoying the solitude and the beauty of the woods without making the effort to bring them with me.

Our recent rain have turned this portion of the trail into a small seasonal creek.

A good mom would take everyone, wouldn't she?  Everyone needs some fresh air and exercise to start off the day!

And then swells into a large puddle that requires some cross country travel or wading.  The sign on the tree says, "No Prospecting, Panning, Sluicing, Dredging, Sniping, or Metal Detecting"  This is gold country, after all, and this section of the creek is claimed and occasionally worked.

But if I bring everyone, the walk balloons into an expedition.  The two minutes it takes me to change my shoes and grab a jacket becomes at least 10, if not 15.  Someone doesn't want to wear that jacket.  Someone wants to bring a large stick and accidentally whacks someone else with it.  Someone starts crying.  Someone wants to be held.  Someone doesn't want to go in the stroller.  Someone else does want to go into the stroller, which makes the first child want to go in too.

Amazing to think this was the dry creek bed of late September!  I wonder what happened to all the banana slugs.

Much of the child-wrangling energy I have is expended getting out the door, getting everyone pointed in the same direction, and then getting everyone home again.  What was supposed to be short, restful, and invigorating becomes long, exhausting, and draining.  Most of the children will come home in good spirits, but there will be one or two who will not be, and will require additional soothing and care before they are ready to be content again.  I'm willing to do it once a week for our nature walk, but every day?

In a few months, this meadow will be a wonderful place to find wildflowers.

And so I go by myself.

The shortcut back to our property, can you see the house just peeking through the trees?

And I come back refreshed and invigorated and I'm much more able to be present and cheerful all day long.

Home!

But I still feel a little guilty.